Wherein I Admit to Being a Little Bit Awful

Friend's Facebook post: "1 man 2 trees 3 nails 4 you"

My (internal) response: "Hmm. I really think that three nails wouldn't be enough to hold a human's body weight."

Then the brain took off with: either there were way more nails than three, or they were really big diameter...wait...how were they even LONG enough to go through limbs? were they SPIKES? why am I even thinking about this? it's gross. and inhumane. I wonder if they nailed the cords binding his feet? I still don't think three nails would hold all that weight. but still it'd have to go through a wrist because there was no cord there, and I've just never seen a nail that long...so it must have been more of a spike. oh my lord (oh man. no pun intended) how could anyone DO that to another person? why am i even thinking about this? are we even sure this happened? who came up with that, and why would you start thinking that way? cleverness with the 1, 2, 3, 4 and NAILS IN PEOPLE'S LIMBS just do not go together, mmmkay?


POST-EDIT: I JUST notice the 2 trees. How do we know it wasn't only one? or that it didn't take three? do they even HAVE trees there? i thought it was desert?

Like I said. Awful.

Stoopid Question

Subaru sends me surveys from time to time. One of the questions on the most recent one:

If we could go back and magically remove the All-Wheel-Drive component from your current Subaru and replace it with Front-Wheel-Drive - (additionally you would receive $1,500 cash and your vehicle would get a +2 MPG increase) - would you be happy?

No, I would want my AWD back immediately

Possibly – I would drive it a little and then make a decision

Yes, I would be happy to make this switch from FWD with slightly better MPG and some extra money back


OHMIGOD people are you serious?!? Would ANYONE with a WRX in their right MIND take a paltry $1500 and additional two (TWO. Not five or ten or twelve, but TWO) mpg for the loss of all that makes a WRX what it is--fun to drive, capable of driving in snow or turning corners at 30 mph, among other things??

I reamed them later in the commentable sections of the survey, after choosing the obvious answer to this particular question. Personally, I think they have die-hard fans right now. And if they get rid of AWD standard on all vehicles, they are taking a gamble--that their cars will become more mainstream. BUT. With that, they are also risking losing their die-hard fans, who see Subaru as different, independent, and a ridiculously great value for the money--but probably won't if they have to pay extra for their AWD.

I guess, to me, it's tantamount to a sellout move, and that makes me nauseous. Why can't you be happy with your extremely dedicated following instead of resorting to watering down your brand image/changing it entirely in a bid to gain market share? Maybe they won't. Fingers crossed.

Why higher education is going to hell in a handbasket...

Tuition USED TO BE 867.00, including all fees and such, for one class (which in and of itself is ridiculous)...but now, NOW, it is....wait for it....



1136.00


for one stinking 3 hour class. Fuck that. I am so glad I'll be done in December.

The Squarrel is Angry

What the $%*& is this???

SQUIRREL MEAT??

"...Just add some water to our (exclusive) dehydrated squirrel, let it sit overnight and, next day, sit down to a delicious, non-gamy rehydrated squirrel.

These little beauties are raised on a certified organic farm in Tennessee, are carefully eviscerated and skinned (choose from bone-in, the more expensive bone-out, or from the deluxe squirrel filet) and they're certified rabies-free by the FDA. (Since this is such a new product, FDA inspectors are onsite constantly and they inspect the meat much more closely than beef or pork.) Each carcass is inspected twice by line workers to be sure it is hair-free."

I seriously thought it was a joke. But it's not. I mean, people in my family have eaten squirrel before, and I've made peace with the fact that other people do eat it and enjoy it. But oh...my...lord. Dehydrated squirrel carcasses? If I ever came upon one of these I think it would make me cry.

work

i NEVER blog about work. but there is always an exception. and i am so frustrated right now i want to blow something up. something being software.

ladies and gentlemen, PLS-TOWER SUCKS BIG FAT HAIRY SWEATY UNWASHED BALLS.

if any of you PLS engineers are listening (IF the last one of you who actually updated any damned thing about that shitty-ass software is even still alive, cause IT DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE ANY BETTER THAN IT WAS UPON CONCEPTION IN NINETEEN AUGHT SIX), how do you even still have jobs??

I could write better software USING AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET. Argh.

thank you. thank you very much for listening. i feel much better now. going back to bang my head repeatedly on a cement floor--i mean, work on that tower some more.

Financial Frustrations

I've been using Mint.com for almost a year, and it's been great--UNTIL today, when I noticed that nearly ALL of my transactions from when I began using it (last October) up until recently (April) are duplicated at least once, sometimes twice. Apparently, Mint would download transactions from my Suntrust account, INCLUDING the pending ones that just showed up as Check Card Transaction or ATM Withdrawal (whether it was actually ATM or not, which it usually isn't b/c I rarely use cash). Then, AFTER they weren't pending anymore, it would download them AGAIN with the real merchant name and category. I can't really figure out how to fix this, especially since sometimes when I click to "exclude from Mint" it doesn't actually exclude it. Not to mention that it is a royal pain in the ASS to look for all the restaurant charges that pended as one amount, then pended as another amount (bill plus tip) then finally went through with the tip amount.

I'm thinking about cancelling, because I keep track of all my expenditures/earnings in excel anyway, and who needs fancy charts and graphs if they're WRONG? I guess it might still be good as far as tracking your daily balances on credit cards/investment accounts/savings/checking/loans, but i can just go to their websites to do that.

What's the point of an "easy" software if it's actually more of a pain in my ass than manually entering everything into excel?? Geez. GAH.

i am the most impatient person i know (aka FRUSTRATION)

but i'm trying. so hard. and i'm having a really hard time in general. sally's thoughts about self-care versus self-control seem key right now. but oh my lord.

if i were practicing self-care, i'd quit school.

if i were practicing self-care, i'd find a job at which i like the WORK as well as the people.

i'd sleep more.

i'd cook more, and get a dishwasher.

i'd read more.

i'd take time for ME instead of letting everything and everyone come first. i've been bad about this in the past; i suppose this is just a relapse. there's just soo much to do and no time. school is pretty much the bane of my existence right now. if i am being honest with myself, i hate it. i hate that i can't come home and do what i want in the evenings, i hate that my "success" depends on someone else's interpretation of what i do and someone else's rules, i hate that i feel like i've learned next to nothing new from undergrad, i hate that it has turned into nothing but an expensive piece of paper and a pay raise to me. basically, it's just a hassle. a royal pain in the ass. most of all, i HATE the CONSTANT, INCESSANT stress of homeworks hanging over my head that are stupid but time consuming. there's never EVER a break from the damned homework. i don't even think i can adequately express just how much it grates on me. but i feel like i have to finish because i'm okay at it and i want to be "successful" and i want to make more money eventually. what ever happened to interesting, new things learned? what is the point of a freaking master's degree if all it is is repetition of the same old SHIT that i have ALREADY DONE? new shit, please. yes, over here. k thanks.

also, i would REALLY like to not live in my apartment anymore, but i'm too stubborn to give up on a house. at some point i'll cave in one direction or another. or explode.

finances are a constant burden as well. i'm making progress, but it's so SLOW. so. slow. and my work STILL hasn't reimbursed the 50% of tuition from spring semester. and i have to pay fall tuition in a matter of weeks. i have (barely) enough saved for the full amount, but that would pretty much wipe out my emergency fund at this point. with them reimbursing enough to pay half, that would be a HUGE relief.

and i keep incrementally, slowly, gaining weight. this galls me. but with my insane schedule, shitty kitchen, and extreme lack of motivation, it's not going to get any better anytime soon.

i haven't been getting enough sleep the past two weeks. i think that has a lot to do with my attitude right now. i'm constantly tired and cranky but can't fucking go to sleep earlier because there's ________ that needs doing before i can go to sleep. (fill in blank with: homework, laundry, cooking, shopping--groceries and cat food, cleaning, errands, obligations, etc.)

oh yeah, and i got rear-ended thursday. ugh. i wish people would GTFA from my car.

i don't feel any better after having released all this. i just want to go cry. no end. it never freaking ends. i sense a good frustration-cry coming on.

drama

i dislike drama. i dislike drama to the point that sometimes i purposefully avoid any confrontation because of a possibility of drama. i'm working on that (the confrontation avoidal--and realizing that if i stay calm, usually the other person will too).

i have concluded, especially lately with repeated examples, that some people are drama factories. their friends and acquaintances constantly get mired in their ridiculous, often self-righteous or judgemental thoughts and actions and feelings, and eventually they will be friendless and alone (or just have shallow drama-factories for friends).

so lately i've been trying to decide what causes people to create or invent or thrive on drama. is it a feeling of insignificance? is it loneliness or lack of excitement in their lives? is it a holier than thou feeling which makes them feel like they have the right to tell others how to live?

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE READING THIS I'M MOST LIKELY NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. The people I CHOOSE to keep in my life are purposefully NOT drama creators. And if i've ditched you specifically, it may not be on purpose. My life is a smidge busy at the moment.

i think part of my problem is BECAUSE i generally drop drama factory friends like hot potatoes, i don't have to experience it often (and it's usually third party drama when it happens) so it bothers me maybe more than most people.

also, my family (and most of my friends) growing up was always, ALWAYS very "real" with each other. i think that sense of being straight up about everything and sometimes even brutally honest, combined with being generally pretty comfortable with myself from a very early age made me see how truly ridiculous creating or participating in drama was. seriously, why bother? you'll just have high blood pressure and not be able to get along with people. it sucks the fun right out of life.

i think some examples and definitions are in order:

drama is:
-when you are unaccepting of other people and blow their differences out of proportion, thus creating an uproar.
-when you try to force the things that YOU would (or wouldn't) do on what other people SHOULD (or shouldn't) do, and cannot or will not stand in their shoes for a bit.
-when you have a life philosophy that doesn't have "live and let live" at its core, and you avoid anyone you consider "those people." (and since you can't avoid everyone your whole life, there will inevitably be drama caused). we're all human. remember that, and life will be better.
-when you approach relationships with friends, family, or anyone else from a controlling standpoint, or see their actions through the lense of fear and judgement rather than the lense of acceptance and love and humanity.
-absolutely, drama is a compulsive liar (a whole nother category, even). i HATE liars. i get this from my father, this rage when people lie. fortunately i don't have any liars for friends.

so anyway. i have been guilty of most of the above at random points in my life (except the compulsive liar part). i choose to not be that way, and it has made for a wonderful lack of drama in my life and i have forged relationships with people that i previously might have considered too "different" and that has made a HUGE difference in my life. it's now a fun life, full of people that i care about and who care about me, and who do not let the ridiculous shit get in the way of meaningful friendships and having fun.

so here's to you, my friends. i love you all. :)

my awful, no-good, terrible, very bad day

or two days. whatever.

so my grandmother died yesterday at 4:15 am. i didn't go back to sleep. went home last night and helped mom wash sheets/make beds/clean mimi's house a little so family can stay there for the next few days. you will find no details of that here.

got home last night around 10:30. crashed. didn't want to wake up this morning. duh. had to come to work for a half day because there's a lunch meeting that if i don't attend, will cause hardship on other people and i didn't really want to do that. get to my car this morning and realize it's been keyed on both driver side doors in one long line. no camera aimed at my car, so i'm just fucked and can't/won't pay the money to have them repainted right now. cry in sheer frustration on the way to work, get unusually frustrated at fellow drivers. (unusually even for me, which was really bad. it didn't help that traffic was worse than normal). get to work.

finally get in touch with my apartment people re the fact that i accidentally paid rent (exorbitantly-overcharged-month-to-month rent) TWICE because the statement no longer said autopay, but then they auto deducted it anyway AND are cashing the check. so get in touch with them finally, and find out i have to fax the debit people proof that i have money in my account (hello? i HAD money till YOU TOOK IT OUT FOR RENT, why should i have to prove that i have money for you to put it back in??) in order to get it refunded. type letter, print proof, go to fax machine only to find it NOT WORKING. get computer guy to come fix it (after getting snapped at by other guy at work who someone told me would fix it).

i want to cry and curl up in a ball on my bed under the covers and not see anyone/do anything/have my shit fucked up for the rest of my life at this point. and i still have to go to the meeting and then drive to carrollton after. joy.

part rant, part random

i just want to move into my house.

work is killing me (i'm eating lunch right now).

school is also killing me: hw due friday that we just got yesterday, term paper due tuesday that i haven't started because i was catching up on homework during spring break last week, homework due next friday that will take FOREVER and is ridiculous, and i REALLY DISLIKE ONE OF MY CLASSES. and i have a project in that class that we HAVEN'T BEEN ASSIGNED YET and we only have 4 weeks of class left in the semester...

and i'm in the process of buying a house...what timing, huh. and i'll have to move april 18th/19th (i think).

yay stress.

however, i am EXTREMELY excited about the things i will have or no longer have to put up with in the place i currently call home:
-no more smell of cigarette smoke wafting in from other apartments at EIGHT AM. and five pm. and 11 pm. and, and, and, well you get the point.
-DISHWASHER
-LAUNDRY CAPABILITIES without having to pay, do a bleach load first, or get weird spots on my clothing from shared dryers.
-a real kitchen
-a real bathroom
-more than one room
-NO CARPET
-space to put stuff
-places for guests to park
-no loud music at 11 pm on a weeknight when i'm doing homework or sleeping.
-AIR CONDITIONING AND HEAT. WITH A FUCKING THERMOSTAT.
-the ability to paint if i wanted to

ok, done and have to get back to work.

OMFG

so i get home today to find a car in my parking space. so i go up to the concierge to report them and get them towed. the guy asks for my name, the space number in question, type of car, then begins shuffling through all the parking records, looking uncomfortable. i'm all, "that's gotta suck." (the papers were very disorganized)...to which he replies, "they asked us not to tow people."

um, WHAT?

i asked who, and basically, the APARTMENT LEASING SHITHEADS STILL DON'T HAVE THEIR SHIT TOGETHER. fuckers. so they can tow ME if i'm in a spot for longer than thirty minutes but they can't tow people in MY spot. ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH. i am SO leaving this shithole when my lease is up. no more roaches, no more disgusting laundry room, no more teeny tiny kitchen, no more non-dishwasher, no more one room, no more INCOMPETENT FUCKERS, no more noisy asshole neighbors. (normally i don't hate it THIS much, today is just a bad day. i won't hate it this much tomorrow).

also? i got a speeding ticket this weekend. oh well. at least i'm on about a yearly schedule now instead of four a year. and by the time my insurance checks it again in june, three will have gone off and then just this one added, so hopefully it won't affect it much if any.

and narnia's being a bitch. she apparently STILL doesn't know who her sister is. god forbid ewok go to the vet. next time i'm going to fucking take them BOTH whether narnia has to go or not. cause this is just ridiculous.

ok. going to go calm down now. angry eyebrows do me no good. plus i'm sure they are unbecoming. plbt.

my eyeballs are melting already

cookie cutter housing is back.

this makes me want to become an arsonist.

blecccchhhhhhh

reasons why today might not be the best day ever:

i feel stupid. i don't remember how to do parabolas and we have to make a mathCAD sheet that will calculate the location of our parabolically draped prestressing strands at 1/20th points on our beams. and at first glance, it looks like there are too many unknowns already, much less after we integrate to get the actual equation. :(

i also feel stupid because i can't/don't remember much of steel or concrete design from three years ago. sigh.

now our simplicity group is down to five people from its original eight. and like sally said, the adult part of me knows it's not personal (the reasons the others left) but the six-year-old inside is a little hurt. :(

I AM STRESSED. this is why i dislike school sometimes.

just had to vent. sigh. back to work.

oh yeah, and to top it all off i got an e-mail from HSBC (my online savings account people) saying my interest rate is now down to 3.8 percent. fucking economy.

more for the lists:

slow day at work today. i finished everything on my desk and am waiting for more. so i figured i'd post in the lull.

things i hate:

the word "artfully"

when the pattern and extent of baldness makes a person look 15 years older than they actually are, and they already cut their hair to less than a quarter inch, but they won't actually SHAVE it off. just do it. it'll make you look ten years younger, i promise! (NOTE: THIS IS NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE WHO READS MY BLOG. IF YOU THINK IT IS, IT'S NOT. YOU AREN'T THAT BALD YET).

when men wear white button-down shirts that are thin with no t-shirt or wifebeater underneath.

mornings, unless it's after 9 am.

drivers who get all up in my shit or otherwise try to damage my person or my car (which is, by extension, my person). G.T.F.A.
and, to all the hypocritical jesus-fish people, jesus wants you to drive faster and NOT CUT PEOPLE OFF AND THEN GO SLOW.

hangnails.

scratchy eyeballs/morning headaches.

my constantly runny nose.

shoes/socks. toes were meant to be FREE!

potholes that fuck up my alignment. and those damned metal plate things that "they" use to cover up GIANT holes in the road, but that always feel like they broke an axle no matter how slow you go over them. and the accompanying tar/rocks. "they" suck.

fake people. if you don't ACTUALLY like me, GTFA and stop pretending, because i can see straight through that shit and it tends to make me want to be even more of a sarcastic ass than usual just to see how you'll react.

liars. i absolutely cannot stand to be lied to. in that regard, i am definitely my father's child.

junk mail/catalogs. if i wanted to buy crap from you, i'd seek it out online. GTFA.

flyers on my car in the morning when i'm leaving for work and it was parked in my LOCKED, INACCESSIBLE apartment's parking garage. that means a) you (the person on the flyer) or someone close to you live in the same building i do and b) i dislike you already and if i ever meet you, will tell you so vehemently along with telling you that i don't wan't to be solicited to EVER. ESPECIALLY AT MY OWN HOME. also? i feel violated when you touch my car. don't do it. double also? I DON'T NEED A USED CAR, AND I DON'T HAVE SHITTY CREDIT. (that was the subject of the flyer). can't you tell that by the beautiful, UNREPOSESSEDNESS that is my car?? DUH.

my 'fro--excuse me, hair--in the morning.

itchy shirts. i accidentally wore one today.

pants that's belt loops are too ridiculously small to put an actual belt in. dude, if you had plumber's crack issues like i do, you'd understand.

illogicalness. (yes, even--especially?--when i do it).

cops with chips on their shoulders.

homework.

paper cuts.

highliters with frayed or mooshy tips that lean/squish to one side when you're trying to use them, or mark in a completely different place than what you intended. more structural integrity, please!

the thought of people killing a baby monkey just to eat its brain. and then not liking it.





things i absolutely ADORE:

sexy cars.

good food.

good music.

SNUGGLING. seriously. the feeling i get from snuggling is pure joy/bliss/high. it makes everything a little brighter, it makes me smile, it makes me sigh with relief (from what, i'm not sure).

nice looking hands/feet/eyes. yes, i'm weird.

cute, non-painful shoes--but they're REALLY difficult to find and i tire of shopping easily.

massages. deep-tissue ones. don't be a wimp. put some force in it; my knots are large, dense and plentiful around my shoulder blades. pissy ass massages just piss me off.

people playing with my hair.

people playing with my TOES. this is in a totally non-sexual way. i just really like it when people play with my toes.

driving.

scream-singing (but only if the other person/people in the car are participating) with the sunroof open on road trips.

trying new food.

skydiving. i think i'm addicted, and i've only done it once.

kittens/puppies/babies

cats and dogs and kids (yes, this is totally different from the above items).

hugs. (but NOT your average quickie friend hug. actual HUGS).

snow!

learning.

sleep: long, unencumbered, no-limit SLEEP.

bacon.

a good steak and a glass of red wine.

my kitties. they rock.

smiles.

good smells: wood burning, cooking, tommy hilfiger cologne, cut grass, south georgia, tires, leather, new shoes, new car, baby-smell, bleach, chlorine from indoor pools, narnia's feet--seriously. they don't smell feet-y. maybe that's cause she's a cat?

long, wandering conversation ("deep" stuff)

adrenaline rushes.

long, hot showers.

cooking.

comfortable silences.

pens. the right pen is worth its weight in gold--or white chocolate.

white chocolate.

creme brulee.

really smart people who are also nice.

good coffee.

games with my family: taboo, mad gab, cranium, trivial pursuit, huggermugger, rook.

sweet tea.

hoodies.

ode to the fucker who blocked me in at sex, drug, rock 'n' roll, and music trivia tonight:

oh you...
you are a fucker
ass wipe.

bet you...
didn't think i'd make it
out of

that space

sucks for you
cause i have great friends
who are determined
and rock

it,
only took half an hour
to get...
my happy ass out of there

so what
if
my power steering
is shot
and my clutch too
(but not really--faked you ooooouuuuuuuuutttttttt) (<-long sustained high note)

i win
just on principle
and...


you get trash
from the dumpster
on your aaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssss (<--really long sustained middle-to-low-ish vibrato note)



the end.



my clutch foot only hurts a little.....

blech

i have no motivation for anything right now. i'm not sure why. i think it's the typical end-of-semester feeling of just being worn down. i am reminded almost daily of why i was so glad to graduate, why i HATE homework, why i was so burned out from school when i graduated. and i've signed up for at least two more years of this life. ugh. it seriously never ends. (it's a lot like laundry and dishes, which may explain why i hate it so much).

anyway.

ok. the following paragraph might be TMI!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT POTENTIALLY TOO MUCH INFO.

i started the new birth control friday night. i feel ok now, pretty normal. and i think i'm going to try the diva cup. (at first i was all, EW! but i think i'm ok with it now. plus i don't think i can flush tampons here anyway...)

ok no more tmi stuff.

i'm excited and nervous about the fact that it's supposed to be COLD tomorrow. maybe i can actually close my window and have it still be cool enough in here. long story. let's just say my apartment building constantly maintains about 80 degrees and a couple of weeks ago 'they' turned the chillers OFF in the basement or wherever the hell they're located so my temperature choices for air coming out of my "temperature controlled" unit are hot, hotter, and HOT AS FUCK. yeah. i came home the day 'they' changed it (they did it midday, while i wasn't home, of course) and it was eighty in here. gah.

and also? that last paragraph might contain the longest run-on sentence EVER. however, it's got tough competition from the memo i received on my door from our leasing office today (verbatim--but notes in parentheses and italicized are mine):

MEMO

To: All Residents

From: Management

CC:

Date: 11/5/2007

Re: Parking and Towing


We would appreciate your full cooperation as the Parking (<--random caps, no reason) garage Levels (<--more random reasonless caps) B and C is (levels is? wtf?) reaching its full capacity. We need for you to come to the Management (<--caps! randomly!) office to confirm your parking space and making (to make?) sure that all Residents (<--caps!) have their parking sticker(s?) visual (visible?) in the window due to (, as?) towing will began (BEGIN. PEOPLE. COME ON.) on November 21st to (for? but at this point it's so butchered AND STILL ONE SENTENCE it doesn't matter anyway) all unregistered vehicles. If you have any questions please contact the management office. Failure to contact us could result in the cost of towing on the Residents (<--caps! and no apostrophe where one is needed) expense. (that sentence sucked too, but not as much).

Thank you,
Management

The Deadline is November 6th Thru November 19th (office Hours)(<--caps. again.)

Towing will began (BEGIN, DAMMIT) on the 21st of November.

*If you are unable to confirm your space - you must call the Office..... (yes, there were FIVE dots. apparently more emphasized than your regular ellipses (sp?). on top of the fact that we have to be IN the office to confirm our spaces in the first place!)

my response to this (in my head, of course) was:
a) you made me wait on a waiting list for FIVE MONTHS to get a parking place, and then i find out that you don't even have your shit together enough to know who the hell is parking in the garage?? this means i could have gotten a place like, oh, when i MOVED IN. (they sent out a previous notice IN SEPTEMBER listing all the spaces they weren't receiving payment for and hadn't for god knows how long that, i dunno, maybe they SHOULD HAVE BEEN KEEPING TRACK OF?)

b) you mean that guy next to me that has been parking there for longer than i have and has no sticker is FINALLY going to get towed? hahahahahahaha--oh wait, now he KNOWS you don't have your shit together and that you'll have it together by nov. 21st, which means he has two more weeks of free parking. sigh.

c) i can't believe you can't keep up with your shit enough to know that i have a valid sticker and have been paying, after i watched you painstakingly, slowly, write my information (and later type it) into an excel spreadsheet which you are supposedly using to keep track. why is it now MY burden to prove to YOU? maybe i'll mail them pictures of my stickers.

pissed off

i think my $100 rebate check from comcast was stolen. cause i got the other two (for $25 and $75) but, lo and behold, that one just wasn't there. perhaps the company that sends them ought to consider sending them IN ENVELOPES so people can't just peek inside the barely-secured trifold piece of paper and go, "ooh! a check! i want that!" and take it. cause either way the company's losing the check. why not let it actually go to the person it's SUPPOSED TO????

and also my professor thinks my undergraduate degree is holding me back. i am ANGRY. for the first time EVER, i had the fleeting thought that maybe i should have gone to tech. and that is what makes me angry, because no, i shouldn't have gone to tech.

bigod i'm gonna get a fucking A in that class. if it's not too late. gotta go rework problem one for the test. a messed up sign cost me 20 points. agh;aoghawoorihawehrads;lkdkfj!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: the rebate check came yesterday!! YAY! (10-18-07)

interesting debate

check out this article

it's an issue that doesn't really affect me at work, but i think it probably will someday. and it recently affected my life outside work.

the comments at the bottom are interesting:

Posted by WAYNE
October 11, 2007
Abusing the child-as-excuse flexibility is awful -- it obviously shouldn't be done -- but as today's families increasingly have two working parents, there's not the same safety net of the stay-at-home mom that most of you here probably had as kids.

One hint for you singles: take up a charity. If you honestly work for the charity even HALF as much as the time raising a child takes, you'll have more than enough excuses why you can't "cover" for your colleagues with kids.



Posted by Em
October 11, 2007
I shouldn't need an "excuse" as to why I can't cover for my colleagues with kids. My time is my own and nobody, not my boss and not my co-workers, gets to decide that somebody else's personal time takes precedence over mine just because they have children. As a single person at work, I have been told that I'm expected to work harder and longer hours because I don't have other obligations (ie spouse and kids). I take offense to the idea that I repeatedly have to justify wanting to maintain a work-life balance just because I don't have kids, while those with children don't appear to be questioned.

Maybe I'm saving the world. Maybe I'm sitting on the couch. Maybe I'm dealing with family or personal issues that I don't want to share at work. The point is that it's MY life and just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I have to spend that life at work.

emily rocks. in short, whatever i'm doing in my single life, whatever plans i have made, are just as important to me as your obligations to family and kids are to you.

argh

frustration

sooo.....driving to work this morning, slept a little later than usual, showered, shaved, AND put on lotion, rewarded myself with a starbuck's coffee...everything was cruisin along just fine.

and THEN. some large pointy thing flies out of nowhere on the interstate and puts a huge chip AND six inch long crack in my freaking windshield. the kind of crack you look at and go...ooh. that's gonna spread big-time.

and the worst part? i don't know if they're going to let me autocross with it. and there's a driver development saturday and autocross sunday, both of which i'm already registered for. sigh. plus also i'm not sure where i'm going to get $500 to replace my windshield.

my coffee wasn't as good after that. :( cause i was in a bad mood and all.

anyone know a good glass shop that won't rip me off just because i'm a female?