a peek into my brain/life

sometimes i wonder if i will ever find anything meaningful in engineering.

waffle house just opened near work. it was tasty today for lunch. i fear it might become a weekly habit...

cute pictures of babies make my ovaries hurt...until i remember that after keeping my four week old niece for ONE NIGHT i wanted to die from lack of sleep.

trivia/halloween was fun. i was a rockin' debbie gibson, thanks to sally's awesome off-the-shoulder lavender sweatshirt.

i think there's eyeliner stuck behind my eyeball or something. but it was totally worth it.

i might have almost gotten a speeding ticket this morning in auburn. thank god for large transfer trucks in the right lane that a) blocked the cops' view of me and b) hog all the radar signals so my speed didn't pick up, giving me time to hit the brakes. i think i should get on a cruise control kick again.

speaking of cars: i'd like to impose a moratorium on random, useless, spastic brake-slamming-on. it has been happening far, far too often in the atlanta area the last couple of days. if there's a reason, sure, hit those brakes. stomp away. but if there's no reason other than the one car showing brake lights THREE MILES UP THE ROAD? god help me, but i really want to just run into people like that (and i might, if it wouldn't automatically be my fault cause i rear-ended them).

i wish everyone had a live and let live, accelerate when possible, and GTFO to the slow lane whenever possible. it would prevent many incidents. and road rage.

i didn't realize how gaudy some of my jewelry was until last night. i'm hoping it's not that bad when it's just one piece or two at a time. cause wow. i'll post pics later; left my camera at home today.

ok. finally, some deep shit, as my sound off friends like to say.

i was thinking last night about how the best friends i've made in my life thus far (well, 70% of them) were made as a result of me putting myself out there with something i was a bit wary of initially.

my first semester of freshman year of college was odd. i lived off campus, with three roommates who were all my sister's age (my sister was one of them), and i didn't really participate in anything. so i didn't have the built-in bonding experience of living in the dorms, and i didn't join a sorority, and i hadn't met many people in engineering yet, because i was only taking two engineering classes. then, randomly, i got an e-mail from UGA's disability services center that said a group called "Sound Off" met once a month and was for deaf/hard of hearing (hoh) people to get together. initially, i laughed. i thought there was no one like me, who'd been in mainstream education, who spoke, and who most people couldn't tell had hearing aids. i was also partially in denial, because i could HEAR. just not well. and these people, they probably couldn't, and they'd be signing and i'd be lost.

but my sister convinced me to go, saying something like, "if they're too weird you can always just eat the free pizza and then come home." and for a broke college freshman, that was the kicker. i went.

and oh my god. they weren't weird! they understood! they knew what it was to pretend you heard something because you were afraid people would be annoyed if you asked "what?" too many times. they knew the frustration of professors talking with their backs to you and only hearing every third word...and so on and so forth. and best of all? they were NORMAL. (while i think we can all agree that normal doesn't really exist and that if it did it'd be boring, they were normal in the sense of being "kindred spirits" or whatever). from then on, whether we met as part of UGA or just at someone's house for a potluck, there was always a core group who never lost touch. and we talk about "deep shit" at those gatherings. not shallow shit. (sort of inside joke). and i don't know what i'd do without these people. i am so glad i put myself out there even though i was afraid they'd be weird or unable to communicate or whatever.

another experience like that has been the simplicity group. it is the only other time in my life (other than sound off) when i've walked into a roomful of strangers and by the time i left, felt totally comfortable with ALL of them. even comfortable enough to discuss my FINANCES (gasp!). now we discuss everything...from disgusting to off-color to hilarious to dreams and goals...ok. don't want to be sappy, that's not the intent. so they're awesome.

with simplicity, since i found them on the simple living network and all that stuff is generally perceived as pretty hippie anyway, i wasn't sure whether it would be cult-like or judgmental or whatever--but it was SO not and i am glad.

and through it all i have decided that not knowing what to expect and putting yourself out there even when you're not sure are two great ways to really connect with people, and possibly find the best friends you'll ever have.

it's nice, too, cause i had a huge support network in high school which dwindled greatly in college (there's discussion about that in older posts) and now i feel like it's intact again. :)

people--good people--are awesome.