Friday, February 26, 2010

Our Upcoming Weekend

Tonight: chill and relax while finishing painting the bathroom and putting it back together (hamper, towel shelves, etc).

Tomorrow, 10 am: House guru comes over to tell us which parts of our house are going to fall in, how badly the flipper dumbass dude sucked, and how many trillions of dollars it will be to fix.

Tomorrow, 6:45 pm: I go babysit while Caleb chills out at home (and probably works on the sheetrock in the office). I study after kid goes to sleep.

Sunday, 12:30 pm: I go take the math portion of the SAT so that I can hopefully get a part time job tutoring math (night/weekends).

Sunday, after the test: Go hang out with my 2 bff's and all our husbands. Yay!

(Monday night: belly dancing
Tuesday night: physical therapy
Wednesday night: belly dancing)

(This and the next week are the only times I'll have belly dancing 2 nights, but wow. I'm feeling busy and industrious lately!)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Things The Very Materialistic Side of Me Wants, But Which I Do Not Have.

Highlights that never fade

A Camaro

And a Lotus Exige

And a 1987 BMW 325 (fully restored of course)

To be able to spend freely to decorate my home

Substantial savings so we can have a kid

(something tells me those last two might be mutually exclusive)

A beach house

A housekeeper/personal chef

A gorgeously landscaped property with a garden and a fenced in backyard

A personal trainer (in order to become a size 4 again, which would go nicely with those never-fading highlights)

I think this list is long enough now.

I do not want this blog to become a chore...or boring. So I will not be updating goals here anymore. They will be on my calendar, with maybe an occasional "Hey, here's how I'm doing" post. (Hey, here's how I'm doing: better. And that is the goal; to be better each week).

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Actual Email From My Mother

My brother's name is (not his real name) John, and he is 35. Also my mom doesn't do cutesy stuff. That is really all you need to know to find the following email hilarious. (Emphasis mine).

apparently we have too many erasures on our crct and are under suspicion. who knows what they're going to do, but let's get real. we have an abundance of eraser addicts. some of the kids i serve will erase 4-5 times and keep putting the same answer each time or they'll erase the right answer and put the wrong one. i just want to scream. it's not like our scores are burning up the woods great. [a co-worker] thinks it's a witch hunt by the state. whatever it is it's ruining all our lives. tune in tomorrow for the latest installment. we are supposed to get 1-3 in. of snow starting tomorrow about 9:00. i hope we don't get stranded at school. that is my worst nightmare. they've cancelled the daddy-daughter dance for tomorrow nite here. john i got us tickets for the mother -son dance at the [town they live in] center field complex. i forgot to tell you. i'll pick you up at 6 fri nite. i'm going to get my hair done in the a.m. wear a tux.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

I suck, and last week

Overstuffed, hell, I don't know, I can't remember that far back. Yes. At least once.

Spendy. Yes. We went to visit a friend this weekend. Friend just had a baby 8 wks ago and wanted to go shopping. I am the world's worst at not giving in to temptation, so I bought stuff I shouldn't have. (With a credit card! ACK! Because we don't have any money!)

Self-care. Ok I guess, except for I've been stressing about money because I SUCK. But we'll get to that in a minute.

What else am I supposed to be tracking again? (Consulting the list)....

Socially balanced? It was pretty good. We had people over Wed and Thurs but somehow when it's people at my house it's much easier for me socially than going OUT. Plus it's actually cheaper. (Chili one night, chicken another from the freezer).

Weekly project...not even sure what it was supposed to be, so no, nothing got done.

Monthly project, going, I guess. We haven't been home weekends though and I can definitely tell. Plus we are broke...which leads me to WHY I SUCK.

So...remember when I went shopping a couple weeks ago? And I may or may not have mentioned that I've been shopping a lot more often for a few months...well. Last week I finally did the budget for January and realized that I'd spent money we didn't have. So I initiated a transfer from our online savings account and was done. Or so I thought. But since the transfers take so fucking long, it didn't come through in time. And the situation spiraled, because automatic bills came out (like the $20 toll card charge that happens when the card is getting low, which is really difficult to predict), causing NSF fees all over the place. Since Friday I've been IN THE NEGATIVE (this has NEVER happened before, so please understand the shame I'm feeling right now, and the stomach-in-knots feeling, and the stress), and because things keep hitting, I keep getting NSF fees and the transfer from the online savings isn't enough, and OMG. And hubby has the ATM card for the online account (don't worry, I already told him I fucked up) and I keep meaning to get it and hurry up and put money in, and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I am up to $216 in NSF fees. OMG. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I cannot adequately express how this makes me feel (nauseated, ashamed, sick of not having enough money, etc).

So. I set up a new budget, with more categories (I had an "other" column in the other budget and that, I think, has contributed to my slip ups). I factored in things like car insurance and car tags and all those semi-annual to annual expenses...and discovered that I ACTUALLY DO NOT MAKE ENOUGH MONEY FOR EVERYTHING. Before, somehow, I was either afraid to find out (because I had a sneaking suspicion that I might not actually make enough) or just assumed we were ok since I didn't have to pay tuition anymore. So no more "other" for a while. If ever.

AND Bea (the puppy) was limping on her back leg last week. It improved marginally throughout the week, and she stayed with a friend this past weekend. At friend's house, she went underneath the back deck (she likes it under there and has always done that when she's over there)...and came back in and wouldn't put ANY weight on that back leg. So I took her to the vet yesterday. And it's likely her ACL torn and will likely require a $2000 surgery to fix. Yes, we should have gotten pet insurance. And the vet said since this one is blown it's likely only a matter of time until the other one blows, so start saving. I wanted to throw up. We are supposed to keep her on STRICT bed rest for 8 days and if it's not fully functional by then, we get to go to the orthopedist to schedule surgery. Poor puppy. And how the F are we going to pay for that???? Ugh.

So I'm applying for part time jobs that I can do at night and on weekends, at least until hubby can get a part time job. And I am thoroughly chagrined. And I do not want to live like this anymore. I never want to feel this way when I look at my online account again. Just thinking about it makes me sweat.

I'll keep you posted. I think this may be the "rock bottom" for me that all the financial people keep talking about. Enough is enough. No more extra anything for us until we have paid off all our debt. I AM DONE.