Wednesday, September 27, 2006

holy jesus

that test was HORRIBLE. i feel like my brain just had explosive diarrhea and shat everything it ever knew about finite elements (useful or not) onto my test paper. did i mention he DIDN'T HAVE THE TEST DURING CLASS because the HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES WASN'T ENOUGH--WE REALLY NEEDED FOUR HOURS TO TAKE IT. from six to ten on a wednesday night. and he was fucking right. my hand hurts. and i'm still not done with residential load calculations that are due tomorrow at 12:30. sometimes engineering really pisses me off.

will this week never end??

i have another interview friday in stockbridge...i'm a little apprehensive though because the person i'm interviewing with's name is Rahim. i hope i can understand him, what with my crappy hearing abilities.

Monday, September 25, 2006

oh, my head

been calculating loads since 1:00 pm (for residential design). not done yet, nor have i drawn the plan in softplan or priced anything.


that is all.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

the interview, and my weekend

the was interesting.

-they want me to start part time now, but i don't have to begin full time till january.
-they offer decent insurance.
-i would have an actual office with four walls, a door, and probably a window. all to myself.

-it's far away from home, that place i'd like to move near.
-there are only ten or so people that work there, none of which are close to my age...and the only other female is the secretary (who seems extremely nice so that's good).
-it's not actual buildings. it's the connections for steel beams (and yes, i knew that going into it, but still)
-VERY LITTLE vacation time. (standard is five days--AFTER you've worked there a year.)
-stuffed deer/boar heads on walls. (i understand that they're men from the south who own the company, but that's just not the kind of place i think i would fit into. i prefer things a little more design-conscious.)
-i don't want to be forced to live all alone away from my family because of my job. and that leads me to other thoughts, later in this entry.

my weekend was pretty good. sam and rosco's was tasty, even though i wasn't feeling so hot. allergies attempted to kill me friday night and into saturday, but by saturday afternoon i felt slightly more normal.

today was ok. i miss people already; that happens a lot on sunday nights. however, i started thinking about the whole job thing, and getting even more stressed. what if i can't find a job close enough to home to live there? will i be forced to be alone and miserable until i can find one closer? what if i'm not good at engineering? what if i hate it? (as you can see, things started snowballing). i don't really think that i will hate engineering. i'm just really worried about finding the right job. it seems nothing in my life is guaranteed right now as far as job and where i'm going to live and what would happen if i can't move back home; if i have to be closer to atl or whatever because i don't want a two hour commute.

this week is going to really suck. i have a huge project due thursday and a three hour test wednesday night. so on top of the job stress i'll be school stressed AND i still don't feel all that great. :(

Thursday, September 21, 2006

nervous, and excited

i have a job interview tomorrow! i spent two hours ironing four shirts cause i can't decide which one looks best with my brown BUSINESS SUIT...omg that phrase "my business suit" makes me want to either:

1: laugh hysterically, maniacally even, at the thoughts of ME being BUSINESSLIKE. people. this is insanity at its best.

2: cry, because this means i have to join the real world and i'm really not ready to become a responsible adult with a SALARY and a full time job. that i go to every day. every. single. day.

3: feel intimidating--but unfortunately i know i'm not and that sometimes sucks. is it the hair? the shit-eaten grin? the spasticness? what? what???

should spasticness have a "k"? like maybe spastickness? i guess since i'm the one making up the word i get to choose. hmm. i like the "k," i think. so i hereby christen it "spastickness" (n) the quality of being spastic; spasticity applied to a person's life. see also spasticity.

by the way, i'm drunk on my meds: claritin and sudafed. hopefully they are preventing my allergies from becoming anything more.

i came to the conclusion today that i am somewhat strange. i really like paper. you know, pretty paper: resume paper, business card textured paper, linen paper, cardstock in bright colors....well, actually, pretty much any office supply i am nuts for. i love trying new pens and sharpies, cute little notepads, and that carbon copy black stuff. I always vow to use the cute little notepads for homework lists or to-do lists or whatever, but then i lose the notepad.

speaking of sharpies, i love the smell of those. actually, i like marks a lot better, but sharpies have more variety.

that is all.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

update on my (somewhat boring) life

still feel like poo. now my face is peeling, and my neck/chest itch and hurt if i scratch, and are peeling too (on top of the allergy crap). worked all day today, have class all day tomorrow. (and a little work too).

the place i really want to work has offices in colorado or massachusetts. (
now my goal is to find a similar company around here. they do green buildings, and projects of every kind (not just one sector, like residential or commercial or governmental). their philosophies on design are in line with my own, and as far as i know, unlike those of most structural engineering/design firms. most of the employees look fairly young, too, which would be nice. don't get me wrong, i like old people ;) and all, but just living in a town that isn't predominantly college kids is gonna take some getting used to--much less not having contact with people my age on a regular basis. i think i'm gonna miss athens more than i thought if and when i move closer to home, but i won't miss carrollton people so much and being closer will be really nice.

eating for my birthday on friday at sam and roscoe's in d'ville (not Alfredo's, cause my mom doesn't want to go to atlanta) at 6:30 pm. It'll do for a second choice, and it will be the first time we've all been together since march.

saturday, hopefully going to see jackass 2 with caleb...maybe dinner too, but i haven't asked him about that yet. :)

i'm tired of feeling anxious all the time. i have finally decided that this might be an actual problem (MOST people don't chew the insides of their lips and cheeks constantly)...but i'm not sure what to do about it. the only time i didn't within the last eight years was during the hawaii trip. don't have time to care right now though. school's a bitch (and probably causing at least 50% of my anxiety)

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

like poo is how i feel

i woke up this morning and my tonsils were large and uncomfortable. i now feel like poo.

in other news, i have a job interview on friday, and one on October 6th. the one on friday is with a structural steel connection detailing firm, and the one in october is for a civil engineering firm in Macon. (i'm interviewing on the way to visit my grandparents for the weekend). I'm not really all that interested in either one (i prefer actual structural jobs that involve designing buildings and bridges, but whatever). i'm hoping to get lots of offers in the next month or two and then pick one.

gotta go to history class now. :/

Monday, September 18, 2006

because they're right

so i guess due to popular opinion, and because i had to sign up to be able to post comments anyway, i now have a blog here at blogspot. alas, i am not a writer so mine will probably only contain boring stuff.