Monday, January 28, 2008

got on digg

and now i must compile all my personal favorite "crazy laws", along with the thoughts that immediately sprang into my head after reading these laws:

-alabama: it is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. ("sometime in the past..." thoughts, anyone?)

-still alabama: no persons may sell "blow-out nuts".
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...just the term makes me laugh lol).

-and one final alabama: you may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
(yum. cold, sticky ASS.)

-alaska: it is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
(assuming somehow you convinced a moose to board an airplane in the first place?)

-arizona: it is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
(they must not have waffle houses)

-arizona again: maricopa county: no more than six girls may live in any house.

-another arizona: you may not have more than two dildos in a house.
( if there are six girls in the house in maricopa county and they're all heterosexual and single at the moment, and presumably horny, does this mean they have to share the two allowed dildos?)

arkansas: little rock: no person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00.
(wait, i know this! this is like when you're on your cell phone, but in order for the call to not get dropped, you have to hang from your left big toe on the fire sprinkler system two inches from the wall closest to the window! what...?
or maybe it's because if that precise combination of events is put into place, you will turn into the girl from the exorcist and your head will begin spinning in a full circle).

california: a regulation in San Francisco makes it unlawful to use used underwear to wipe off cars in a car wash.
wife: "omg! honey! what's that stuff on our windshield?? didn't you take the car to the car wash?"
hubby: "yeah, but ever since they dropped that law off the books, i keep coming home with jizz from the used-underwear drying job. *sighs* and it's right in my left eye-hole on the windshield, too." and yes, the very word "jizz" makes me laugh uncontrollably.)

california again: it is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
(redneck to farm hands: "dayumn, boys, if we woanta git these here sheep out to tha paisture we goan hafta break 'em inta two groups...*rubs head thoughtfully* reckon we could git some of 'em to ride piggyback? we ain't got time for theeyus!" say it out loud, you'll get it)

yet another california: in riverside, kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance.
(ok, wtf IS carbonized rose water?)

ok now i'm tired of this activity. but if you go to the linked site ( where all the laws come from, you can read some more.

also? i'm sorry that y'all had to read the inner workings of my brain...i hope they were at least marginally funny. sigh.

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