Tuesday, May 27, 2008


i dislike drama. i dislike drama to the point that sometimes i purposefully avoid any confrontation because of a possibility of drama. i'm working on that (the confrontation avoidal--and realizing that if i stay calm, usually the other person will too).

i have concluded, especially lately with repeated examples, that some people are drama factories. their friends and acquaintances constantly get mired in their ridiculous, often self-righteous or judgemental thoughts and actions and feelings, and eventually they will be friendless and alone (or just have shallow drama-factories for friends).

so lately i've been trying to decide what causes people to create or invent or thrive on drama. is it a feeling of insignificance? is it loneliness or lack of excitement in their lives? is it a holier than thou feeling which makes them feel like they have the right to tell others how to live?

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE READING THIS I'M MOST LIKELY NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. The people I CHOOSE to keep in my life are purposefully NOT drama creators. And if i've ditched you specifically, it may not be on purpose. My life is a smidge busy at the moment.

i think part of my problem is BECAUSE i generally drop drama factory friends like hot potatoes, i don't have to experience it often (and it's usually third party drama when it happens) so it bothers me maybe more than most people.

also, my family (and most of my friends) growing up was always, ALWAYS very "real" with each other. i think that sense of being straight up about everything and sometimes even brutally honest, combined with being generally pretty comfortable with myself from a very early age made me see how truly ridiculous creating or participating in drama was. seriously, why bother? you'll just have high blood pressure and not be able to get along with people. it sucks the fun right out of life.

i think some examples and definitions are in order:

drama is:
-when you are unaccepting of other people and blow their differences out of proportion, thus creating an uproar.
-when you try to force the things that YOU would (or wouldn't) do on what other people SHOULD (or shouldn't) do, and cannot or will not stand in their shoes for a bit.
-when you have a life philosophy that doesn't have "live and let live" at its core, and you avoid anyone you consider "those people." (and since you can't avoid everyone your whole life, there will inevitably be drama caused). we're all human. remember that, and life will be better.
-when you approach relationships with friends, family, or anyone else from a controlling standpoint, or see their actions through the lense of fear and judgement rather than the lense of acceptance and love and humanity.
-absolutely, drama is a compulsive liar (a whole nother category, even). i HATE liars. i get this from my father, this rage when people lie. fortunately i don't have any liars for friends.

so anyway. i have been guilty of most of the above at random points in my life (except the compulsive liar part). i choose to not be that way, and it has made for a wonderful lack of drama in my life and i have forged relationships with people that i previously might have considered too "different" and that has made a HUGE difference in my life. it's now a fun life, full of people that i care about and who care about me, and who do not let the ridiculous shit get in the way of meaningful friendships and having fun.

so here's to you, my friends. i love you all. :)

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