blecccchhhhhhh

reasons why today might not be the best day ever:

i feel stupid. i don't remember how to do parabolas and we have to make a mathCAD sheet that will calculate the location of our parabolically draped prestressing strands at 1/20th points on our beams. and at first glance, it looks like there are too many unknowns already, much less after we integrate to get the actual equation. :(

i also feel stupid because i can't/don't remember much of steel or concrete design from three years ago. sigh.

now our simplicity group is down to five people from its original eight. and like sally said, the adult part of me knows it's not personal (the reasons the others left) but the six-year-old inside is a little hurt. :(

I AM STRESSED. this is why i dislike school sometimes.

just had to vent. sigh. back to work.

oh yeah, and to top it all off i got an e-mail from HSBC (my online savings account people) saying my interest rate is now down to 3.8 percent. fucking economy.

got on digg

and now i must compile all my personal favorite "crazy laws", along with the thoughts that immediately sprang into my head after reading these laws:

-alabama: it is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. ("sometime in the past..." thoughts, anyone?)

-still alabama: no persons may sell "blow-out nuts".
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...just the term makes me laugh lol).

-and one final alabama: you may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
(yum. cold, sticky ASS.)

-alaska: it is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
(assuming somehow you convinced a moose to board an airplane in the first place?)

-arizona: it is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
(they must not have waffle houses)

-arizona again: maricopa county: no more than six girls may live in any house.

-another arizona: you may not have more than two dildos in a house.
(hmm...so if there are six girls in the house in maricopa county and they're all heterosexual and single at the moment, and presumably horny, does this mean they have to share the two allowed dildos?)

arkansas: little rock: no person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00.
(wait, i know this! this is like when you're on your cell phone, but in order for the call to not get dropped, you have to hang from your left big toe on the fire sprinkler system two inches from the wall closest to the window! what...?
or maybe it's because if that precise combination of events is put into place, you will turn into the girl from the exorcist and your head will begin spinning in a full circle).

california: a regulation in San Francisco makes it unlawful to use used underwear to wipe off cars in a car wash.
(conversation:
wife: "omg! honey! what's that stuff on our windshield?? didn't you take the car to the car wash?"
hubby: "yeah, but ever since they dropped that law off the books, i keep coming home with jizz from the used-underwear drying job. *sighs* and it's right in my left eye-hole on the windshield, too." and yes, the very word "jizz" makes me laugh uncontrollably.)

california again: it is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
(redneck to farm hands: "dayumn, boys, if we woanta git these here sheep out to tha paisture we goan hafta break 'em inta two groups...*rubs head thoughtfully*...you reckon we could git some of 'em to ride piggyback? we ain't got time for theeyus!" say it out loud, you'll get it)

yet another california: in riverside, kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance.
(ok, wtf IS carbonized rose water?)



ok now i'm tired of this activity. but if you go to the linked site (www.crazylaws.com) where all the laws come from, you can read some more.

also? i'm sorry that y'all had to read the inner workings of my brain...i hope they were at least marginally funny. sigh.

ewok

oh yeah, and ewok has to go to the vet today. she's limping ever so slightly and i can't find anything wrong.

hope she doesn't eat me or the vet while she's being examined. :/

weekend, and, of course, other stuff

still "awaiting assignment" at work. this is getting a little boring. i LIKE having work to do...at work...you know?

friday night hung out with shane, phil, and their wonderful doggies. i love jezebel, she's freaking awesome. (i love ajax too, simply because he's a dog, but i seriously CONNECT with jezebel). the time for getting a dog is fast approaching.

and maybe a house, too. shane thinks we can find a foreclosure that doesn't need too much work in EAV for less than a one bed condo in midtown. in which case i could float it by myself or have one or two roommmates, which would be awesome. we will see. i think we're going to look at one this week...the only problem is a lack of electricity so it will have to be daylight. he said he thinks it'll take about three houses before the deal actually goes through. i can live in it while i get my master's and then either continue to live in it after, or rent it, or sell it, depending on market stuff. also, if i get an un-rehabbed one, the land it's on would eventually be worth more WITHOUT the house anyway (or with a rehabbed or completely new one). so there are lots of options for my house commitment-phobic self.

saturday one of my buddies from high school came up to ATL. we went to vortex and talked...he's remodeling his house, and i tried to give advice (COLOR advice, not structural advice sight unseen lol) but i'm not sure how much it helped. then i went to d'ville to eat with the family....and....

ANNA KNOWS WHO I AM NOW!!! (she's 14 months old so previously she'd kinda be like, well, i know i've maybe seen you before but who are you again? and saturday she smiled at me! yay for being an aunt!)

sunday was awesome (mostly). mountain run with a shit ton of z's (ok, eight). the only bad thing was that there was a lot of gravel on one of the turns and no guardrail and someone went over. BUT HE'S OK. pics:




good thing he had five point harnesses and that z's have stiff bodies. it was heart/gut wrenching at first, but then he was fine and climbing up the hill under his own power. kinda made me reconsider stuff (and LIFE, but you know) and be glad there hasn't been gravel when i've done the driving...because he was not going too fast for the curve. just the gravel. :(

we made it back safe and sound (but HUNGRY) and the rest of sunday was awesome. grin.

UPDATE: forgot to mention that i passed the LEED AP test on Saturday and am now a LEED accredited professional (or, FUH-fessional, as my niece jenny would say, which to her, is the opposite of n00b). lol.

cleaning/personal finance/healthiness

they're all related. and whatever 'it' is--the gene that prevents procrastination and makes a saver and an exerciser is TOTALLY MISSING IN ME. ok. maybe not totally. but i am struggling.

my dream car(s)

this car is awesome. two of my favorite things!

also, this one would be really helpful on friday afternoons...

more for the lists:

slow day at work today. i finished everything on my desk and am waiting for more. so i figured i'd post in the lull.

things i hate:

the word "artfully"

when the pattern and extent of baldness makes a person look 15 years older than they actually are, and they already cut their hair to less than a quarter inch, but they won't actually SHAVE it off. just do it. it'll make you look ten years younger, i promise! (NOTE: THIS IS NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE WHO READS MY BLOG. IF YOU THINK IT IS, IT'S NOT. YOU AREN'T THAT BALD YET).

when men wear white button-down shirts that are thin with no t-shirt or wifebeater underneath.

mornings, unless it's after 9 am.

drivers who get all up in my shit or otherwise try to damage my person or my car (which is, by extension, my person). G.T.F.A.
and, to all the hypocritical jesus-fish people, jesus wants you to drive faster and NOT CUT PEOPLE OFF AND THEN GO SLOW.

hangnails.

scratchy eyeballs/morning headaches.

my constantly runny nose.

shoes/socks. toes were meant to be FREE!

potholes that fuck up my alignment. and those damned metal plate things that "they" use to cover up GIANT holes in the road, but that always feel like they broke an axle no matter how slow you go over them. and the accompanying tar/rocks. "they" suck.

fake people. if you don't ACTUALLY like me, GTFA and stop pretending, because i can see straight through that shit and it tends to make me want to be even more of a sarcastic ass than usual just to see how you'll react.

liars. i absolutely cannot stand to be lied to. in that regard, i am definitely my father's child.

junk mail/catalogs. if i wanted to buy crap from you, i'd seek it out online. GTFA.

flyers on my car in the morning when i'm leaving for work and it was parked in my LOCKED, INACCESSIBLE apartment's parking garage. that means a) you (the person on the flyer) or someone close to you live in the same building i do and b) i dislike you already and if i ever meet you, will tell you so vehemently along with telling you that i don't wan't to be solicited to EVER. ESPECIALLY AT MY OWN HOME. also? i feel violated when you touch my car. don't do it. double also? I DON'T NEED A USED CAR, AND I DON'T HAVE SHITTY CREDIT. (that was the subject of the flyer). can't you tell that by the beautiful, UNREPOSESSEDNESS that is my car?? DUH.

my 'fro--excuse me, hair--in the morning.

itchy shirts. i accidentally wore one today.

pants that's belt loops are too ridiculously small to put an actual belt in. dude, if you had plumber's crack issues like i do, you'd understand.

illogicalness. (yes, even--especially?--when i do it).

cops with chips on their shoulders.

homework.

paper cuts.

highliters with frayed or mooshy tips that lean/squish to one side when you're trying to use them, or mark in a completely different place than what you intended. more structural integrity, please!

the thought of people killing a baby monkey just to eat its brain. and then not liking it.





things i absolutely ADORE:

sexy cars.

good food.

good music.

SNUGGLING. seriously. the feeling i get from snuggling is pure joy/bliss/high. it makes everything a little brighter, it makes me smile, it makes me sigh with relief (from what, i'm not sure).

nice looking hands/feet/eyes. yes, i'm weird.

cute, non-painful shoes--but they're REALLY difficult to find and i tire of shopping easily.

massages. deep-tissue ones. don't be a wimp. put some force in it; my knots are large, dense and plentiful around my shoulder blades. pissy ass massages just piss me off.

people playing with my hair.

people playing with my TOES. this is in a totally non-sexual way. i just really like it when people play with my toes.

driving.

scream-singing (but only if the other person/people in the car are participating) with the sunroof open on road trips.

trying new food.

skydiving. i think i'm addicted, and i've only done it once.

kittens/puppies/babies

cats and dogs and kids (yes, this is totally different from the above items).

hugs. (but NOT your average quickie friend hug. actual HUGS).

snow!

learning.

sleep: long, unencumbered, no-limit SLEEP.

bacon.

a good steak and a glass of red wine.

my kitties. they rock.

smiles.

good smells: wood burning, cooking, tommy hilfiger cologne, cut grass, south georgia, tires, leather, new shoes, new car, baby-smell, bleach, chlorine from indoor pools, narnia's feet--seriously. they don't smell feet-y. maybe that's cause she's a cat?

long, wandering conversation ("deep" stuff)

adrenaline rushes.

long, hot showers.

cooking.

comfortable silences.

pens. the right pen is worth its weight in gold--or white chocolate.

white chocolate.

creme brulee.

really smart people who are also nice.

good coffee.

games with my family: taboo, mad gab, cranium, trivial pursuit, huggermugger, rook.

sweet tea.

hoodies.

a good reason not to get on myspace at work:

you might read the bulletin from your sister saying her dog died and then burst into tears before you can get to a bathroom, and then look like crap for the rest of the day because your eyes are all red and swollen and you can't stop tearing up.

tiggy, i love you.

realizations

...i feel older in my head than i actually am (as far as maturity goes, at least; for the most part i still feel 16--but i'm talking about a whole nother plane of feeling, if you will). i have always felt closer to my sister's age than my own, and typically my friends are either really mature or older than me, or both.

my best guy friend and i were discussing it last night, in relation to age gaps in dating...and he said he doesn't even look twice at people younger than 25 on match.com (he's 27). naturally, i was somewhat insulted on behalf of everyone my age, until he explained that most people he's met my age (or 22 or 23) are still in school, no career yet, not many hobbies/outside interests, etc. hence the no consideration. it didn't help much though, because most of my friends who happen to be my own age are mature, have interests, have a career, blah blah blah. i dunno, maybe my friends are the exceptions. (ha! at least i don't TALK like i'm old--i still say i dunno and wanna and sound twelve. sigh).

so i guess the POINT of all this is i feel like i was born with melissa, not five years later. i have a career, i know where i want to go with it, at least for the next few years--after that hopefully the means to integrate engineering and LEED and sustainable design and DESIGN (not "assembly line engineering," actual DESIGN that requires critical thinking) in a career will become more obvious and easily attainable and hopefully at least somewhat family oriented (as in, if i ever have one of those lol). i am developing my interests, realizing that it's okay to be ME. for a long time i worried about what everyone else thought (especially my family) and how i was expected to be, not how i wanted to be. now it has become more of being me--distilled, concentrated me (how scary is THAT?)--and figuring out how to balance that with the people in my life and not scare them or make them feel like i'm deserting them. namely, my family. so here's to NOT being an aunt who's not around while still preserving my life without my family.

...i think sometimes my dad thinks i'm obnoxious (which i am, i just try to tone it down around him), and since college he seems to be more accepting of that, and of me as a person (who KNOWS stuff! wow!) rather than that i'm his kid and he has to teach me stuff. it's interesting. and odd. especially the whole carbon nanotube-bladed windmill idea. don't get me started...just suffice it to say that once he realized that that equated to having enough strength in his windmill blades to HANG MACK TRUCKS FROM THEM and was therefore totally, wholly unnecessary, he laid off a bit.

...i still hate exercise. but i like the way i feel afterward, and i like having awesome leg muscles (however long they may take to come back, they ARE there, i promise). plus, i paid for the whole semester, which is a pretty good motivator. cardio kickboxing was supposed to be tonight, and i showed up, forgetting that the rest of the WORLD has mlk day off. sigh.

...a freaking volvo beat me this morning (it was because my car was still cold and i was unwilling to push it hard, but STILL). but last night i beat a prelude that had two mufflers with two pipes each and rumbled (not buzzed)...not sure how big the engine was, but it made me feel better since mine's totally stock and still won. haha. (this is why sometimes i feel 16).

...i actually LIKE my apartment now. it is still tiny, and too small to live in forever, but for a couple years it will be good. it's making me not amass so much STUFF; forcing me to reduce/eliminate stuff and let go of my packrat tendencies. i still want to paint it though. just waiting to see how much my rent is going to increase next year (in april of this year, really).

...my skin is ridiculously dry. i mean INSANELY. last night, in the shower, i put OIL on it. yes. OIL. and by the time i got out, i was able to put on three pumps of lotion PER APPENDAGE (appendages, in this case, being defined as 1/2 of a leg, or a whole arm) and have it all absorbed. that was at 6 pm. then, at bedtime (11 pm ish), my face was dry AGAIN so i slathered it with ridiculously greasy feeling moisturizer (my other skin was dry again too, but i was too tired to care). and then when i woke up this morning, there was a little dry patch of flaky skin on my cheek, just saying hey! i know you slathered the lotion on last night but really, it did NO GOOD AT ALL. and for some reason my temple is somewhat red and dry feeling. not sure why. i wish it would warm up a little, or get humid. my skin needs it. plus, enough snow would mean i could skip work/school and sleep and read in my pj's.

...speaking of work, today it was FREEZING because the building people didn't turn on the heat because they thought we weren't working today. so not only did i have to work today when my friends didn't, i had to freeze my ass off the whole time i was there! (but yes, i do still really like my job and the people there).

ok. that was longer than i meant for it to be. (as is everything i say; i'm not sure why i'm still surprised by that).

oops

i accidentally clicked on the msn thing for the detroit auto show...and then, the amount of saliva in my mouth ACTUALLY INCREASED when i looked at the mazda furai concept. seriously, y'all. not actual drool, but if my mouth had been open it would have been.

ok. going to read the rest of the article now. be back soon on drool-worthiness (or rants)...

























also yum, audi r8 diesel...though the black stuff on it is a little odd...unless it's carbon fiber and i just can't tell b/c the picture is far away, in which case it's all good.









EW! buick! ew!
(admittedly, it's not bad, but still. ew. buick.) and it looks like they're trying to make it look like a Z, at least from the angle of the photo.









ford verve, some other stuff. ho hum.











hmm...mitsubishi RA concept looks interesting. if it's light enough it might give my car a run for its money. plus it looks awesome and has REALLY COOL DOORS. it would be even cooler if it were guaranteed to be reliable...





and that is all.

oh yeah

it makes me smile when i find out people are reading my blog, even though it will never have finesse and i will never take the time to actually make it relevant to anything other than my own life and brain, and it's really just to calm my thoughts a little.

but...hey! hey out there, people! :)

uh oh

ummmm......not sure if the first few drop-in fitness classes are going to be good...cause i get all, "well if that skinny bitch can do this, then bigod so can i!" and then the next day i can't walk. and i'm afraid that's what happened today. we'll find out in the AM when i either can or can't walk anymore. but! i feel more fit already! (grimace-y smile with gritted teeth)

oh well. eventually it won't hurt as much. the first two weeks are always killer.

current song that's on repeat

Bus ride
Then i'm across town
I take my seat
And watch the streets go by
Traffic lights
Then a left hand turn
I'm almost to the street where you live on

Can i take you home...to my house
Can i take you home...to my house

Next block
That is my stop
I close my eyes visualize the day
Three steps
Two knocks on your door
The doorknob turns
My stomach burns to say

Can i take you home...to my house
Can i take you home...to my house

There's no wall
There's no ceiling shadow
I can finally show you
Without a chair without a door or window
To climb through

Can i take you home...to my house
Can i take you home...to my house
Can i take you home...to my house
Can i take you home
Can i take you home
Can i take you home...to my house

and they wonder why...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

serves them right for having decoys in the first place. all it does is make paranoid people in the fast lane slam on their brakes and/or go ten miles UNDER the speed limit and cause wrecks anyway.

ARE YOU READING THIS, DOUGLASVILLE, GA, COPS?? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE.

decoy cop cars = stupid


decoy cop cars with dummies = even stupider


decoy cop cars whose windows get broken and dummies stolen = PRICELESS.

oh, and also? i don't think BREAKING A WINDOW is DISABLING the cop car. just a thought. it can still move.

grin, et al.

i had a GREAT weekend. :)

we had to go try on bridesmaid dresses for lindsey's wedding...it went ok. she picked one out that we all look decent in.

HOWEVER, upon realizing that i am the largest person in that wedding (and NOT BEING OK WITH THAT) i have decided that i am definitely going to start exercising again. if this isn't fate slapping me in the face and being like, "hey! get fit!" i'm not sure what is. i really miss being eighteen and able to eat an entire large pizza on a regular basis and not get any larger. sigh.

on another, more serious note, jennifer and i were talking (over some glasses of red wine) last night and APPARENTLY it is possible for (normal?) people to be sitting there all cool and stuff, and NOT THINKING ANYTHING. nothing. in their brains.








NOTHING.






being thought in the brain.










um, what? first of all, i have NEVER achieved that state. ever. except maybe that one time when i was really drunk....oh wait, no, not that time either. thoughts only slow down in my brain if i'm drinking, and since i don't drink very often i don't think that counts. especially since they only slow then, not stop.

secondly, i thought i was normal in that regard (we all know that i'm not normal, but i had hoped in some ways i might be...i just thought brains were like that. full of thoughts. all the time. you know?)

so i concluded i have to poll everyone i know and see if, indeed, their brains are simply devoid of thoughts occasionally. just be forewarned, if that ends up being the case, you people will be turning my world INSIDE OUT. lol.

also? my clutch foot still hurts a little from thursday night.

and it should be noted that our trivia group can't win regular trivia to save our lives, but give us sex, drug, rock 'n' roll, and movie trivia and we get second. ha ha.

ode to the fucker who blocked me in at sex, drug, rock 'n' roll, and music trivia tonight:

oh you...
you are a fucker
ass wipe.

bet you...
didn't think i'd make it
out of

that space

sucks for you
cause i have great friends
who are determined
and rock

it,
only took half an hour
to get...
my happy ass out of there

so what
if
my power steering
is shot
and my clutch too
(but not really--faked you ooooouuuuuuuuutttttttt) (<-long sustained high note)

i win
just on principle
and...


you get trash
from the dumpster
on your aaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssss (<--really long sustained middle-to-low-ish vibrato note)



the end.



my clutch foot only hurts a little.....

today, it's raining in my head

I walk the streets of Japan till I get lost
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
With a graveyard tan carrying a cross
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like studying faces in a parking lot
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like driving backwards in the fog
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like gypsy moths and radio talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like gospel music and canned applause
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like colorful clothing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like hammering nails and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

Bend and shape me
I love the way you are
Slow and sweetly
Like never before
Calm and sleeping
We won't stir up the past
So discreetly
We won't look back

The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like throwing my voice and breaking guitars
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like playing in the sand what's mine is ours
If it doesn't remind me of anything

yeah. i've been listening to that song on repeat all day.